Ok a random, cathartic Friday evening post. So more than six months ago, I hit a wall. I was working way too much, and I felt I was neglecting my most important job...being a mother. I knew something had to change. I was not sure how I would do it, but I was positive I wanted to be more of a mom who occasionally worked than a worked-to-death mom.
Now let's back all the way up. I was raised as a "Daddy's Girl." God rest the departed Deacon Alfred Hall III's blessed soul, I STILL am "Daddy's Girl." I have a problem, I go to "Daddy." He has before, currently is, and will forever keep on fixing it right on up.
Thank God my earthly father properly introduced me to my Heavenly Father some time ago. So even today, I know just who to call.
I know this is a detour from my usual posts. However I have never been ashamed of the God I served. Also, I have been bombarded with question after question about...
How can you retire so young?
How do you juggle everything you have going on?
How do you deal with the stress?
My most honest answer is my Father. My earthly father who introduced me to budgeting, entrepreneurship, and real estate investments way before medical school. Also my Heavenly Father who keeps blessing me beyond my wildest dreams. I am NOT flawless, but I am faithful and above all FAVORED. I can recall trying to create a promotion for this collaborative project. Many of the the women involved had tried to pitch radio, TV, even bloggers without success. Just before I started writing this blog, a random conversation in the airport has now turned into 3 radio interviews and 4 television appearances I am still trying to wrap my head around.
Now back to this conversation I was having with the Father. I am a board certified anesthesiologist. A month ago. I was working just about every other weekend and multiple overnight calls in the hospitals during the week. There would be days I would go to work while my child was asleep and return home when she was already in bed. For several days in a row, I would miss out on precious moments with her. I was so unhappy. I was weary (now that's way pass tired)!!! I was physically and emotionally weary. I just wanted to scream!
DADDY! We have to talk! NOW!
God, you allowed me to give birth to a child despite my fertility issues (don't worry that blog is coming soon). I need to be present. I need to raise her. I need to cherish her. I also know you have given me a purpose to help others. So I need you to show me how this works. I've read all the self help books and blogs. I have tried to find the balance, and it keeps eluding me. I am disgusted with my station in life right now. My workplace is a den other ravenous vultures and demonic spirits (I love some of my former co workers but check out my previous blog. I had haters!) I feeling like a failure of a mom! Fix it Jesus!
Now this is an abbreviated version of about a month long prayer. Then the answer came on Easter Sunday. Quit. Don't look for another job. Quit your job and focus on your career. See I was an employed physician in a large group within a large healthcare system. The thing about being an employed physician is that you will find you are more of an employee than a physician most of the time. I was working for a company, making them MILLIONS. When I finally divided my salaries by the long hours and overnight calls, I realized I was cheating myself.
So I quit. I quit the job for my career. I am a career mom that occasionally practices medicine, writes books, counsels women. I am a career homemaker that also occasionally writes a blog, has speaking engagements, appears on television and radio shows. I am a career mentor who also promotes healthy lifestyles and healthy hair growth.
All I can say is thanks Dad... you sure fixed it this time. #WontHeDoIt